The Wednesday Rant

April 19, 2017 | Posted in:General

The ” too damn early in the morning edition.”

I don’t mind being up at the crack of dawn, but this is ridiculous, but necessary if I am to get any more rest in the next few days.

As I “go to press” its 3:59 am Chicago time, but I have been up for an hour already, looking for the words to untangle the thoughts in my mind. This is what happens to me when I back up against something that will simply not leave me alone until I jackhammer my way though and bust out the foundation of what is chapping my hide.

This morning it’s the realization that I totally messed up my radio career, missing out on millions and millions and millions of dollars by not listening to the advice of insiders that admonished me for taking the “high road” instead of becoming…

“A Performance Artist!”

Over a span of 20 years, (since my first day on the air, August 27th, 1997) I have been told half a dozen times to dump the “inform, entertain and inspire” model that “just won’t sell” and join the ranks of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levine, Michael Savage (real name Michael Weiner) Glenn Beck and the latest yakker to make headlines, Alex Jones and beat the drum of conspiracy, innuendo, conservatism, male superiority and push the envelope of good taste to the point wherein I could finally break through and use “those great pipes” to attract lucrative sponsors thus setting up an ongoing supply and demand parasitic relationship with an insatiable audience that can never get enough fear to feed on.

Nope, I didn’t take their advice. Nor did I take the advice of the agent who told me I would be better off in sports radio, talking about every single, double and triple, over analyzing blocking assignments and digging into the of off field antics of young millionaires who are paid to entertain us.

Missed out on that one too.

Yea, all this “higher ground” stuff for the past two decades has cost me millions of dollars in revenue. The closest platform to the “Big Show” was my time on Oprah Radio listened to by a couple million people which is impressive, but a drop in the bucket compared to the 20 million that devour Limbaugh’s verbal droppings each week.

So, for the record, near as it can be figured, I have hosted over 22,000 hours of radio, produced about 35,000 hours and when you add in the marketing, sales and promotional aspects of my tenure, it’s safe to say that I am an expert in the field. You could drop me off in a studio in Paduach or Pittsburgh or Patagonia, fire up the mic and I am good to go.

So, it is with all that in mind that I was glad to hear the truth come out when it comes to 99.9% of political talk radio hosts and what “insiders” have known for a long time.

It’s all bullshit…and bullshit sells in a big way.

It’s the manure that keeps the paranoia and fear, the division and delusion growing, which keeps an audience tuned in and the biggest part of the equation-the ad revenue-flowing.

This “insider truth” was revealed in court just yesterday as the aforementioned Alex Jones host of ” InfoWars” that reaches millions with the help of his “Info Warriors” that are “breaking down the electronic Berlin Wall of media control from a private bunker in an undisclosed location” is fighting for custody of his kids in divorce proceedings. As his character has been called into question (Sandy Hook was fake, the moon landing was fake, the government has bombs that turn men gay, government was part of the Oklahoma City bombing, Obama wiretapped Trump and that the Syrian gas attack was a hoax just to name a few of his closely guarded truths.)

But when pressed, his lawyer went on record.

“He’s playing a character” and is nothing like his online persona, attorney Randall Wilhite reportedly insisted in a Texas courtroom at a pre-trial hearing ahead of the right-wing radio jock’s custody battle with ex-wife Kelly Jones. Judging Jones by his Infowars performances would be like judging Jack Nicholson by his depiction of “The Joker” on “Batman.”

Jones’ Infowars site was a hub for anti-Clinton conspiracies during the presidential campaign and Trump publicly thanked him for his support. “Your reputation is amazing,” Trump said in December 2015. “I will not let you down.”

A few weeks ago, veteran journalist Ted Koppel was being interviewed by Sean Hannity on Fox News. Koppel maintained that Hannity and his ilk are “bad for America” because “they are very effective at what they do which has attracted people who are determined that ideology is more important than facts.”

Hannity replied that Koppel was “selling the American people short, because they know the difference between opinion driven content and actual news.”

No, they don’t.

If they did, 28-year-old Edgar Maddison wouldn’t have walked into a pizza joint in Washington with an AR-15 to “self-investigate” a false election-related conspiracy theory involving Hillary Clinton that spread online during her presidential campaign that he heard on “InfoWars.” Edgar fired a warning shot and then went in looking for “the tunnels where Clinton was hiding the children so he could set them free.”

All they have at Comet Ping Pong is pizza…and death threats for their part in “the horrible and despicable child sex slave ring” that only exists in Jones’s mind.

Maddison is awaiting trial.

I am self-editing this as I go along, leaving out major chunks of stuff like the “fire breathing conservative” Tomi Lahren (24 years old, a “rising media star”) who has made a name for herself by reading a teleprompter filled with all the right words that piss of the left, is now suing self-loathing talk host Glenn Beck who hired her to rant on “The Blaze” because she got on “The View” and admitted she was pro-choice when it comes to abortion.

Can’t have that. That doesn’t sell to the advertising base aka “listeners.”

Easy to forget that the grandfather of all this, Rush Limbaugh couldn’t make it as “Rusty Sharpe” or “Jeff Christie” as a DJ so when he got the chance to replace Morton Downey Jr. on the air in San Diego, he became “EL Rushbo” as he would be known to millions, drilled into a previously untapped audience of conservatives and for the past 29 years, he has been feeding them at the trough, while raking in over $500 million…and triple that for Premiere Radio Networks.

He is also a draft evader, recovering drug addict, four times married, kicked off Monday Night Football for racist remarks who “holds the line on morality and American values.” He made the term “Feminazi” part of his show, referring to about two dozen feminists “to whom the most important thing in life is ensuring that as many abortions as possible occur.”

Reluctant “honorable mention” of Howard Stern, who might be the most proficient “Performance Artist” of all time-even though he isn’t a political yakker, was able to morph himself from an overnight disc jockey to a “wild and funny morning guy” to finding his formula for success, which was talking like a high school kid about all the stuff high school boys talk about and earning millions to get a porn star to stick tampons in their nose.

He became the self-professed “King of All Media” and a judge on “America’s Got Talent.”

Net worth for all that high-minded talent?

Forbes estimates $2.7 billion.

So, Alex Jones (according to his attorney) is a character, like “The Joker” which is about the most truthful thing to be made public in a long time. Not fake news, but a real look at the inside of this business where “characters” are making serious coin, acting like they know everything, about everything but hadn’t done much of anything…except talk.

Or just bullshitting their followers for fun and profit.

The biggest joke is on the people that listen, and pump millions into the pockets of their chosen saviors and don’t realize the joke is really on them.

And even if they do…might not care anyway. Affirmation is more important these days than information.

Maybe it’s time to “re-brand” myself, sell out and cash in.

We’ll see.

Be well.




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